My Unraveling (P.S. "Ongoing")

I didn’t know I was unraveling at first.

I thought I was just tired. Just stretched thin. Just adjusting. I thought the overwhelm was normal, the burnout temporary, the pressure just part of the job description. But over time, I realized what I was feeling went deeper than exhaustion — I was losing touch with myself. I’m sure many new mothers find themselves in this space. 

Motherhood cracked me open. Not in a sweet, romantic way — in a raw, jarring, life-altering way. It exposed parts of me I didn’t know existed: the parts that carried old wounds, unmet needs, and buried emotions. The parts shaped by my own childhood and family of origin. The parts that longed to be heard, healed, and held. How can something that I wanted for as long as I can remember, now bring so much rage within me?

It wasn’t pretty.

I’ve yelled when I wanted to stay calm. I’ve shut down when I knew connection was needed. I’ve replayed moments with shame and gone to bed in tears more times than I can count. The version of motherhood I imagined — peaceful, nurturing, patient — didn’t come naturally.

It had to be built. Brick by brick. Layer by layer. And believe it or not, it's still ongoing (am sure if you ask my girls where I need to improve, they will give you a long list). 

I had to start with me. It has to begin with me on a daily basis (and trust me, I screw up ALOT). 

That’s what this unraveling has been — an invitation to grow. To pause. To look inward. To become aware of how I show up, why I react, and what I need to change in order to break cycles I never asked to carry.

I’ve spent the last several years rebuilding. Not just routines or schedules — but my inner world. Through journaling, research, reflection, hard conversations with myself and others (remember it "takes a village" even if its one you pay for). I’ve begun to understand that self-awareness is my lifeline. Growth is my responsibility. And healing — while never linear — is absolutely possible.

This journey is ongoing. Some days I feel aligned and proud. Other days I still lose myself in the chaos. But now, I recognize that the unraveling wasn’t the end — it was the beginning. The beginning of me becoming a more conscious, present, and empowered version of myself — not just for my children, but for me.

If you’re unraveling, too — you’re not broken. You’re becoming. And you don’t have to do it alone.

This space — my under construction Resource Hub — is where I’ll share what’s helped me. The lessons, the tools, the honest reflections. Not from a place of having it all figured out, but from the middle. From the process. From the real, imperfect journey of self-discovery through parenthood.

Welcome. I'm so glad you're here.

— The Unraveling Mother